You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
