god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
