Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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