at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
