Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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