he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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