Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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