i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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