he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
