the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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