Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
