sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Bring me that man meat
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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