not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
