we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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