Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
