You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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