Sry I called you an 8
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
