Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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