This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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