I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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