people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
