He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
