Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
