Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
