Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
