peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize