Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize