YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
