drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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