Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
