The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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