Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dear god my vagina.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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