By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
