Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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