I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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