Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
