And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
