hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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