god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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