we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
