I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You smell like stripper and shame
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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