Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize