he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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