i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
