Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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