I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
