am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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