So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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