Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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(206): View more from Washington

That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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(310): View more from California

Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He's cheating on her.

(973): View more from New Jersey

Are you sure it wasn't her?

(201): View more from New Jersey

I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We don't really communicate like that.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Communicate like what?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do

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(360): View more from Washington

I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.

(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise

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