Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
