I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
