i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize