is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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