Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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