people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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