you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize