3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
