And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We are two peas in an std pod
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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