my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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