just come out here and I will go home with you...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
