forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
