Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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