today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
