your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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