this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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