I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
