if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
