M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry about my life...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
