if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
